Pharaoh’s dreams

A couple of years passed, and Pharaoh had a dream. He was standing on the bank of the Nile when suddenly seven of the most well-fed cows came up out of the water and started munching on the reeds. Then, seven more cows, wretched and famished, came up for air and swallowed up the pretty cows. Pharaoh woke up and turned over in his bed.

Falling asleep again, he dreamed of seven fat ears of grain growing on a single stalk. Then, seven wind-blasted and small ears sprouted up and choked out the quality shoots. Pharaoh woke up again, troubled by all he’d seen in the night.

He recounted these disturbing images to every Egyptian magician in the vicinity, but no one knew how to interpret them. Then he called for every “wise man” and seer in the district. Again, he told them his dreams, but no one offered an answer to their meaning.

Then the chief cupbearer spoke up. “How could I be so stupid?” he asked, giving his forehead a sound palm slap. “When the baker and I went to prison, we both had dreams during the same night. A young Hebrew, he interpreted our dreams correctly, for he foretold of my vindication and the baker’s demise.

“You’re right to ask the question,” Pharaoh said. “How could you be so stupid?” Then he turned to a servant guarding the hall entrance. “Bring me the Hebrew at once!”

Joseph shaved his head, changed his clothes, and presented himself low to the ground before the ruler of all Egypt.

“I’m told you’re an interpreter of dreams,” he said to the thirty-year-old prisoner.

Joseph lifted his head and answered, “I don’t interpret them, but God will give the answers you seek.”

“Whatever,” Pharaoh said, skeptical of the Hebrew holy roller. “Look, I was standing by the Nile, and seven fat cows came up to feed on the grass. Then seven skinny cows came after them and swallowed up the fat cows. The seven skinny cows were still skinny. In my second dream, I saw seven fat ears of grain on one stalk. Then, seven withered ears came up and choked out the healthy ones. The magi were unable to give me an answer. What say you?”

“Is that all?” Joseph asked.

“Indeed.”

“They’re both the same dream,” Joseph said. “God has revealed to you what He’s about to do.”

Pharaoh wasn’t any closer to divining the meaning of his dreams. “Perhaps you would be so kind as to tell me what God has so clearly revealed to me.”

“Lord,” Joseph continued, “The seven fat cows and the seven fat ears are seven years of harvest. The seven skinny cows and the seven thin ears are seven years of famine. Like I said, God has given you the meaning of your dream.”

“Indulge me,” Pharaoh said, impatiently. “Are you giving me the weather forecast for the next fourteen years?”

“Precisely, Lord,” Joseph said, standing to his feet. “And as sure as the god of Egypt has dreamed it, it will come to pass.”

Pharaoh scratched his goatee. “Anything else?”

Joseph bowed. “If it pleases my Lord, let Pharaoh put an expert in charge of agriculture. Elect district managers to collect one-fifth of the land’s produce for the next seven years. Store up grain reserves in every city, under your authority, of course. When the famine comes, you’ll be a hero.”

By the time Joseph finished what he had to say, his face was perceptibly radiant. The guards approached to escort him from Pharaoh’s presence.

“Wait,” Pharaoh said. “Is there any other like him? This man hosts the spirit of God Himself.”

Inspiration: Genesis 41

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Interpreting dreams

Pharaoh’s cupbearer and baker were thrown into the prison where Joseph carried out his duties. Potiphar put Joseph in charge of their well-being while confined below his house.

One night, both incarcerated officers had disturbing dreams. When they woke up the next morning, Joseph could see they were sorely vexed. “Why do you look so troubled?” Joseph asked them during breakfast.

“We both had dreams last night,” the cupbearer said. The baker added, “But we have no one to interpret them.”

Joseph answered, “Doesn’t all meaning come from God? Tell me your dreams.”

The cupbearer shot an apprehensive glance to the baker and then unfolded his dream to Joseph.

“I saw a vine,” the cupbearer began, “with three branches on it. The vine bloomed and bore clusters of plump, luscious grapes. I took and squeezed the juice of the grapes into Pharaoh’s cup and presented it to him.”

Joseph said, “The three branches are three days in which time Pharaoh will restore your position as cupbearer. When you’ve settled into your rightful place, I pray you to mention me to Pharaoh so I can get out of this place. I was stolen from my Hebrew lands, and now I’m wrongfully imprisoned underneath the captain of the guard’s house.”

The baker’s countenance changed when he heard the favorable interpretation of the cupbearer’s dream. “I dreamed there were three baskets stacked on my head,” he said, looking hopeful and eager. “In the top basket, an assortment of baked goods were being devoured by birds.”

Joseph said, “The three baskets are three days in which time Pharaoh will lop off your head and hang you from a pole. The birds will devour your flesh. Sorry, dude.”

The baker’s face grew ashen.

Three days later, on Pharaoh’s birthday, the ruler gave a lavish feast for his servants. He released his chief cupbearer and chief baker from the prison and restored the cupbearer to his former position. As for the baker, he was hanged on a pole just as Joseph described.

The cupbearer forgot all about Joseph and the accuracy of his dream interpretations.

Inspiration: Genesis 40