Hard reboot

In Noah’s day, the average human life extended for hundreds of years, and humanity spread across the transcontinental region of Asia, Turkey, and Egypt.

Turns out, rebellion against God was genetic, so population growth meant a gradual rise in violence and corruption.

The crisis reached its zenith when a band of fallen angels lusted after the women of humanity. Two hundred spirit creatures descended, took on human flesh, and defiled the daughters of men, bringing forth a race of giants, titans of renown called the Nephilim.

“I’m cutting them off,” God swore, sorely distressed by humanity’s evil. “People will live no more than a hundred and twenty years.”

Even so, he regretted ever creating such an insurgent breed. He decided that shortening their lives wasn’t enough.

I’ll eradicate them, he thought. People, pets, wild animals, birds, nothing would survive. If it creeps, crawls, or twitches, they’re going to be relics.

Except for Noah.

Noah was perfect compared to any other individual, so God brought him into his counsel with the holy angels.

“I’ve decided to destroy the earth and its inhabitants with a catastrophic flood,” God told Noah. “Make a three-story vessel from cypress wood and waterproof it. When the waters appear around you, everything outside the vessel will drown. Bring your family along. Things won’t go so swimmingly for a while.”

He further instructed Noah, “Bring a male and a female of every living thing into the vessel, keeping them alive. Also, bring seven pairs of all split-hooved grazers and birds. Finally, store up plenty of food for your family and your zoo.”

With shoulders back and hammer in hand, Noah went to work.

He was six hundred years old when he and his family boarded the vessel with all the animals and provisions. Just as promised, the pipes burst from deep beneath the seas, and torrential rains emptied themselves from the sky. It rained for forty days and nights, and when the highest mountain peaks submerged in a sea of foaming floodwaters, every living thing outside God’s life raft perished.

Inspiration: Genesis 6-7